blasting stereos...

somethings i never knew

went for the lit field trip yesterday
we went to four places:
clifford pier, changi chapel, lorong buangkok and cck cemetery
honestly, only the first and last place appealed to me
but at least its a pass
2/4= 50%

* * *

i never knew i had feelings for you until i saw u yesterday
lye chup lui, deceased in 2000.
memories crept in to me
when i re-visited u for the first time
the way you called me ("yong yong")
the times when you bought kfc
the times you were still able to walk
you never knew how to pronounce my english name
or at least i don't remember
i was indifferent when you passed away
i wasnt affected at all
i never knew i would be if i hadnt seen you yesterday
i didnt even know i would see you
it was all chance
or fate
or both
one could not do without the other
we distanced when you moved in with uncle
and when you became senile (dementia?)
it just got worse
yet, i seem to have reconciled with you
when i saw you yesterday
it felt like before
when you could still smile and walk...

the impact of your death only set in yesterday
it took five long years to be affected
...i miss you, grandma.

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