blasting stereos...

looking for a direction

Today's MSN nick : stupid computer, why do you always 'curfew' me at the wrong time..
Song anchored in my head : "Radio Song"- JET
Current Mood : ready
Trying to portray the me who: is getting pumped up

looking for a direction
i want a goal
i want to start striving
i want to move on
i want because i want to.

there's one thing for sure
people studying what i'm studying
would go to arts and social sciences
its the only place we can go.
not that we have a choice anyway.

i'm always put off
by the courses that i like
because of the portfolio
or the darn interviews.
i hate them, totally.

* * * * *

you people may not know
but i dislike presentations
i dislike talking in front of crowds
doesnt sound like an arts student to you
well too bad.
i dislike because i cannot,
not because i will not.

i cant stand attention
i dont like the be the focus
when everyone has their eyes glued to me
i get the jitters.
my head goes blank
i wont know what i'm saying,
or even, doing.

be it playing solos,
or just talking,
i'll just freak out.
its an out-of-body experience
everytime i'm made the focus.
its just... me.

well i guess what i like and who i am are seperate entities.
should i just give up what i like but cannot do?
or should i press on, perhaps, aimlessly?

the confused guy goes to his world once again
the world of nothingness
the world of void.
elson-aiming aimlessly. out.

CREDITS
BLOGGER
DEVIANTART
DESIGNER