blasting stereos...

*smile*

Today's MSN nick : "when i bleed, i bleed knowing you never cared"
Song anchored in my head : "Welcome to MY Life" - Simple Plan
Current Mood : empty
Trying to portray the me that: is trying to feel as down as possible.. =p

when you're gone
"this is not a song
nor is this a poem
it's just my thoughts,
MY thoughts,
as usual"

the very day you broke the news to me
telling me you're not available any more
that i should move on
that i'm not "your kind of guy"
i was heartbroken
i told you
very, very heartbroken
so much so that i nearly broke down
you said i was making you cry
i stopped
sitting on the bus
holding back my emotions
and got home
pretending that nothing happened

i got back on my feet after a while
when it still hurt
i set aside my feelings for you
and treated you like a friend
...my best friend
you promised not to do that to me again

soon, you broke up with him
then we got close once again
this time i was prepared
cuz i'm not "your kind of guy"
we got into different classes
we weren't as close
i didnt mind
cuz i'm not "your kind of guy"
we went out occasionally
for awhile
and in my opinion
crossing the boundaries of "best friends"
still i daren't think about anything
for i'm not "your kind of guy"
this went on till your birthday

gradually, we lost contact
i ended our baffling friendship
i stopped contacting you
stopped all my sms'es
and stopped chatting with you online
i thought it wouldn't matter
since im not "your kind of guy"
also because i was getting tired
very, very tired
i never knew how you were,
or how you felt.
i'll never know, anyway.

after the 'cut'
i wanted to know
so badly
yet, i stopped myself from contacting you
i'd see you in school from afar
and if you were walking towards me
i'd walk away
if i could.
i was just afraid
no, i am still afraid
that i'll get hurt
the problem isnt with you
cuz you never wanted to hurt me
or at least.
let me think of it that way

now we are like parallel lines
our lives will never meet
knowing that
i just want to see you from afar
just to know how are you
cuz i still care...
...even if you don't.

"when i left, i left never knowing if you ever cared"
(feeling so much emotions churning inside. yuck.)
elson- thinking back. out.

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