blasting stereos...

'mirror-ing'

Today's MSN nick : damn computer, will you stop 'curfewing' me from msn?
Song anchored in my head : "You Raise Me Up" - Josh Groban
Current Mood : *thinking*
Trying to portray the me who: is thinking

argh freak
i accidentally refreshed this page
and all that is written is gone.
*grrr*
*pulls hair*
writing this a second time
really feels sucky
but anyway,
here goes......

van finally replied yesterday
for those who dont know
van is my seedie
you know,
BUDdy and SEEDie?
*grins*
she's been very busy working
first at Bodyshop,
then at Yamaha
she asked me about 'her'
i told her 'she' is long gone
told her i was tired
and she said she expected that.
and if you are wonderig why she knows
and you people dont know
who the girl is,
thats because i kinda confided in her,
or rather, shared how i felt with her
and in exchange, she told me her secret too.
told you were we buds and seeds
*grins*
then this crazy girl asked me to find another one
someone who will push me and stuff
because i'm too soft and 'pushable'
no, actually she said pushy.
she knows i'm far too complacent.
*oops*
but yeah, i replied
her that i dont like to be confined
or restricted.
not that relationships
are bound to be like that
just that i tend to be
less hopeful.
*grins*

something i realised about getting into relationships
before you people even start,
already there is a thing holding you back
"what if he or she doesnt like me,
and stops being my friend altogether?"
and once you peopl do get into a relationship
you'll start thinking
"why doesnt he or she understand me?"
or
"why doesnt he or she trust me?"
typical, aint it?
it kinda occurs in most relationships
unfortunately
so thats the price to pay.
besides,
what do people actually want in relationships?
company, joy, security, love?
do not forget,
there are also
jealousy, frustration, pain and depression
that comes along with it
so what do you people actually get?
yeah, i know about the pros,
but is it positive enough
to balance out the negativity?
if it is,
what difference does it make having
a relationship or not,
since it becomes neutral,
if you know what i mean.
unless you are able to say
that the positivity overwhelms the negativity
then i congratulate you.
*grins*
my question is
"is it worth the trouble?"
chew on that.

"or prove me wrong"
elson- more negative than positive. out.

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